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Dating Jokes and Relationship Humor!
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Love Related Jokes and Relationship Humor Archive
Personals-Free-Personals.com would like to welcome you to our funny relationship humor and jokes archive! Literally hundreds of spam free jokes, pictures and parodies for your enjoyment.
A humorous look at how men and women differ via our light hearted battle of the sexes!
We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
These Question and Answer Jokes were compiled over 2000 years and are considered by the editors to be the most used and abused silly adult ever told!
We suggest saying each QandA joke out loud to yourself and if the delivery sounds good, internalize your favorites to spring on friends and family at the appropriate time.
Be a hit with your work colleagues at your next dull business meeting or impress your buddies with your sharp witted tongue at the next boys night out!
Q: What is the definition of suspicious??
A: A nun doing pushups in a cucumber patch.
The husband said to his wife, "Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?"
"Okay," she said. "You stand by the ironing board and I'll lie on the sofa and watch TV."
Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? - 45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45 minutes
Life stinks- I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like!
What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? - Sexual harassment.
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute.
Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
A. Fucks Funny!
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease?
You get to meet new people every day!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They've got boyfriends already.
What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you!
What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Why is the space between a girl's tits and hips called the waist?
Because you could put another pair of tits in there!
Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
What's the medical term for a female-to-male sex change operation?
Strapadictomy.
How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.
How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fuck?
When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
Did you ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
How do we know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate!
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.
What is the definition of making love?
Something a woman does while a guy is boning her.
What do rednecks do for Halloween?
Pump kin!
Why do men like blowjobs?
It's the only time they get something into a woman's head straight!
What's the biggest problem for an atheist?
No-one to talk to during an orgasm! (Oh, God!)
What's worse than a cardboard box?
Paper tits!
What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?
A conga line in an old folks home!
What's the best thing about a blow job?
Five minutes of peace and quiet.
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One got his head blown off and the other was assassinated.
Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to
the other, "Hey, whaddya say we go in there & get shit-faced?"
more silly jokes | top of page | home
We also feature interesting sex facts and statistics , amazing world sex records and related trivia. All humor pages are pop up free and unlike most every other site, we don't attempt to download any funky spyware programs to your computer or enable java scripts to track your movements.
Find the largest compilation of jokes and satire that will tickle your funny bone, and maybe even make you think! Though most the archive is rather tame compared to most other sites with similiar content, the material is intended for adults only, 18 years of age and older. We hope you get a nice giggle or two and thank you for dropping by!
These Question and Answer Jokes were compiled over 2000 years and are considered by the editors to be the most used and abused silly adult ever told!We suggest saying each QandA joke out loud to yourself and if the delivery sounds good, internalize your favorites to spring on friends and family at the appropriate time.
Be a hit with your work colleagues at your next dull business meeting or impress your buddies with your sharp witted tongue at the next boys night out!
Page One of the Ultimate Q/A Joke Archive!
Every stupid silly joke is listed in hypothetical order!Q: What is the definition of suspicious??
A: A nun doing pushups in a cucumber patch.
The husband said to his wife, "Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?"
"Okay," she said. "You stand by the ironing board and I'll lie on the sofa and watch TV."
Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? - 45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? - 45 minutes
Life stinks- I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like!
What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? - Sexual harassment.
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute.
Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
A. Fucks Funny!
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease?
You get to meet new people every day!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
They've got boyfriends already.
What is the similarity between a woman and laxative?
They both irritate the shit out of you!
What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Why is the space between a girl's tits and hips called the waist?
Because you could put another pair of tits in there!
Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.
Why are electric trains like a mother's breasts?
They were both designed for the kids, but it's the fathers who are always playing with them.
Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
What's the medical term for a female-to-male sex change operation?
Strapadictomy.
How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.
How do you tell if a chick's too fat to fuck?
When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
Why is it so hard for women to take a piss in the morning?
Did you ever try to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
How do we know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate!
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.
What is the definition of making love?
Something a woman does while a guy is boning her.
What do rednecks do for Halloween?
Pump kin!
Why do men like blowjobs?
It's the only time they get something into a woman's head straight!
What's the biggest problem for an atheist?
No-one to talk to during an orgasm! (Oh, God!)
What's worse than a cardboard box?
Paper tits!
What is 60 foot long and stinks of piss?
A conga line in an old folks home!
What's the best thing about a blow job?
Five minutes of peace and quiet.
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One got his head blown off and the other was assassinated.
Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to
the other, "Hey, whaddya say we go in there & get shit-faced?"
more silly jokes | top of page | home
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Defining Free Memberships All our reviewed dating sites and matchmaking services offer various types of free memberships or trails. Free can have mean serveral meanings, however. The norm? It means you can place personal ads, search profiles for those that interest you. Some have 3 day to one week trials then you have to pony up to stay online. Others have lifetime free memberships but you must pay to contact. Please read any TOS agreements before committing to any site so you're clear on what promotions are being offered, and when they expire if applicable. You can read our entire article about it here
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